|The Cupboard of Patrick's Love|
|Season One, Episode Six|
|Air date||16 June 2000|
|Written by||Steven Moffat|
|Directed by||Martin Dennis|
The Girl with Two Breasts
The Man with Two Legs
Jane visits Patrick at home to discuss the ‘walls’ between them and there discovers a cupboard filled with video tapes labelled with girls’ names. When Steve and Susan independently learn about the cupboard, both realise that as Patrick’s ex, Susan will be in there too. Susan catches guys and Sally them watching the tape without realiing that Susan has been taped over. She breaks up with Steve and then later takes him back.
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When Jane goes round to Patrick’s flat unannounced, 'to heal our spiritual divide', she discovers that he has a cupboard full of videos. Videos he’s made of him making love to various women. Word gets round, and Susan visits Patrick to ask him never to show 'her' film to anyone.
She’s too late: Patrick, Steve, Jeff and Sally are all watching it already. Even worse: the woman in the film isn’t even her, and nobody noticed. Patrick has taped over her. Furious with everyone in the room, she tells Steve that it’s all over between them. The next day she goes over to Steve’s flat and asks him to propose to her. Unfortunately, the moment is somewhat spoilt by the fact that Jeff is lurking in Steve’s bed.
Jeff is watching a video of Susan making love to Patrick, singing Susan’s name in excitement. He gradually realises that she is sitting next to him.
- Jack Davenport as Steve Taylor
- Sarah Alexander as Susan Walker
- Richard Coyle as Jeff Murdock
- Kate Isitt as Sally Harper
- Ben Miles as Patrick Maitland
- Gina Bellman as Jane Christie
- "The Cupboard of Patrick's Love" is the only first season episode that was not remade in the short lived US version.