Captain Subtext is mentioned in the episode Her Best Friend's Bottom. He is a mysterious figure who, according to Jeff, "lived in the attic and had secret meetings with my mother". He is equipped with a special "helmet of truth detection" that can process what someone says and extract what they are really saying, i.e., the sub-textual message. During Jeff's youth, his mother apparently told him that whenever he told a lie, the captain would know this, and sneak into Jeff's room at night to remove a segment from his penis. During this episode, there is an extended sequence in which the helmet is indicated to be translating what each character is saying.

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